Look Past The World of Artisanal Cheese: French Crisps Are Utterly Sinful.
Over the holidays, I spent time in the French countryside, which was on its best behaviour. Discreet, sparkling decorations, village market booths overflowing with remarkably pristine fruits and veggies, and such an abundance of fromage that could line every mile of the Chunnel with arterial plaque. Piled platters of shimmering crustaceans resting on ice seen through misty restaurant glass. As I watched a extended but civil queue of stylish locals retrieving their handmade yule logs, I thought, disloyally, that my home town, York, which turns into a present-day version of a scene of decadence during the festive season complete with e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and pre-mixed cocktails, would do well to absorb some pointers.
A Refined Veneer
But this entire “art de vivre” business proves to be an elegant facade – The country falls victim equally to its lowest desires as the rest of us. Merely enter a local *supermarché* to witness it. The snack food corridor is an absolute sink of depravity, crammed with the likes of *bleu d'Auvergne*, spiced bean patty, beer-braised beef and salted butter tastes. Who in their right mind tries butter crisps? It brings to mind something from those infamous midway festivals where they deep fry sticks of butter. One popular comic has asserted they’re the best crisps she’s ever tasted, but she’s obviously succumbed to an instance of regional conditioning – after all, her childhood was in *Bretagne*.
Worldwide Anarchy
One must acknowledge the world of potato chip seasoning internationally operates with as few rules as big tech. Nobody seems willing to permit the tuber to taste of itself, adorned only rightly by a modest application of seasoning. The UK boasts a dubious legacy with crisp flavours on British soil, especially at this time of year. Recently, after all, introduced festive-spiced tortilla chips and exclusive steak-and-pâté flavoured chips. Furthermore, who can erase the memory of the occasion when a major retailer believed “prosecco and winter berry” was an appealing flavour for a savoury snack? I expected more from the nation of culinary masters.
What is the logical conclusion? Foie gras crisps? Cream puff crisps? Cigarette-tasting crisps? I should stop, lest I provide inspiration.
