Previous English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the disease.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to completely absorb that at the moment," he said.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "calm" as he focuses on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the illness deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or maybe I deal with matters differently, and once I have the information, it's easier," he stated further.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a series of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't feel sick. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the upper arm.
"I'm still competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress quickly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a year and above half within two years of detection, as swallowing and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only retard decline.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," added an emotional Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody said.
"We sat on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the tears off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody stated the priority was remaining in the present.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be extremely militantly concentrated on just accepting and appreciating each moment now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Sportsman Association
Elite sportspeople are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the rate of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is considered that by restricting the air accessible and creating harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous physical activity can initiate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his fearless, relentless approach to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a tackle pad and began engaging in physical contacts.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the crucial passage of play, setting a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop-goal.
Assistance System
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a handful of other ex- colleagues about his medical situation, but the rest will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and acceptance that people are present is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a great community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your love your profession, it's one of the greatest honors.
"To have done it for so considerable a duration with the teams that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to support in every way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
